Showing posts with label heart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heart. Show all posts

Sunday, December 30, 2012

How I Can Be More Like Enos

Enos was a son of Jacob and the author of the Plates of Enos after Jacob asked him to write upon the plates of Nephi after his death.
Even though the Book of Enos has but one chapter, and while we don’t learn a great deal about Enos, we are taught enough about him to realize that he became a man of great faith.  We can gather that Enos must have been somewhat rebellious in nature, as he talks about the “wrestle” he had with God before he received remission of his sins (Enos 2), but because of the teachings of God by his father (Enos 3), Enos felt inclined to pray (Enos 4).  What I love about Enos’s prayer is how sincere and passionate it was.  It wasn’t simply a prayer he said quickly or in passing.  For someone who, as far as I can tell, hadn’t often prayed to God throughout his lifetime, this prayer was very heartfelt and genuine, as he “cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens” (Enos 4).  Enos prayed so intensely that his voice reached the heavens.  How remarkable.
Enos prayed for three things.  The first thing he prayed for was the remission of his sins (Enos 5 - 8).  After he received revelation that his sins were forgiven “because of thy faith in Christ” (Enos 8), he then seeks to save his brethren, the Nephites.  Enos “began to feel a desire for the welfare of my brethren. the Nephites; wherefore, I did pour out my soul unto God for them” (Enos 9).  Enos is worried about his people and his family.  Then he prays for the Lamanites: “I prayed unto him with many long strugglings for my brethren, the Lamanites” (Enos 11).  So, Enos prayed for the forgiveness of his own sins, and then asked for forgiveness for the Nephites and then the Lamanites.
The Lord revealed to him that if the Nephites were to be destroyed, as “at the present our struggles were in vain to in restoring them to the true faith” (Enos 14), that a record should be preserved, documenting their history and their traditions (Enos 13, 16).
The Nephites then went to the Lamanites and, try as they might, their “labors were in vain; their hatred was fixed” (Enos 20).
It is here that I’d like to state a quality that I love about Enos.  I revere many things about Enos, but the one I admire most today is his boldness.  Enos was bold enough to ask Heavenly Father to forgive him of his sins.  He became even more bold to ask that the Lord to watch over the Nephites and then he even asked prayed for the welfare of the Lamanites.  
Sometimes, we don’t want to ask much of our Heavenly Father, or at least this is my case.  I feel that there are always other people’s worries, problems, or concerns that are more important than mine.  Enos knew his desires from the Lord were righteous and I feel like maybe that was the reason why he was not afraid to pray and ask Heavenly Father for these favors.
I’m going to try and apply this to my life.  As long as my prayers and wants are humble and pure and righteous, then the prayer is warrented and worthwhile.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

My Heart is Broken and My Spirit is Contrite...



"Some choices have greater consequences than others. We make no greater voluntary choice in this life than the selection of a marriage partner. This decision can bring eternal happiness and joy. To find sublime fulfillment in marriage, both partners need to be fully committed to the marriage." James E. Faust"Choices," Ensign, May 2004, 53


I am waiting for the moment when Heavenly Father's will and my will are one.

I am at the point in my life where I know what I want.  I've experienced a lot.  I know there are still some things I have yet to experience.  Scratch that, there are a lot of things I have yet to experience.

Right now, my heart is so heavy.  It legitimately takes a metaphorical crane to lift my tender emotions out of bed every morning.  I have to coo to my screaming heart each night as if its a newborn, inconsolable with some unknown ailment.

When I open my heart, I leave it wide open.  When someone doesn't accept this offering, it leaves me broken.  Shattered.  It leaves me feeling like half a person, unworthy of the recipient's love.  Silly girl, I am, thinking this would work.  That it could work.





Will it be like this forever?



There have been times when someone has asked me out, but I know it was wrong.  Then there have been times when I desperately, with every inch of my spirit, want something to work out with a boy, but Heavenly Father knew it was wrong.

What I'm waiting for is when what Heavenly Father wants for me and what I want for me are one.


"We will become of one heart and one mind as we individually place the Savior at the center of our lives and follow those He has commissioned to lead us."  D. Todd Christofferson"Come to Zion," Ensign, Nov. 2008, 38


Will it ever happen?

I love love.  I always have.

When I like someone, it's not just a crush.  It's something big for me.  I love easily.  It comes naturally to me.  To want someone to take care of, to want someone to love me, to want someone to love.  Someone to share everything with.  I am so capable of loving someone so much, if only they'd give me the chance.



Maybe I'm too desperate for this.

Maybe I'm just a sucker for love.

I just know my heart is open to it.  So ready for it.  Ready for my next big adventure.

'Two individuals approaching the marriage altar must realize that to attain the happy marriage which they hope for they must know that marriage . . . means sacrifice, sharing, and even a reduction of some personal liberties. It means long, hard economizing. It means children who bring with them financial burdens, service burdens, care and worry burdens; but also it means the deepest and sweetest emotions of all' (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball [2006], 194).